Be Holy

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Posted by Priscilla Carr, April 11, 2023

“For it is written, ‘Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16

My mother has been diagnosed with dementia. It is so difficult watching her become less and less of herself. I feel as though my identity is so tied to her that as she diminishes mentally, my personhood also does. I’ve been trying to continue to fill the caretaker role I adopted many years ago, especially as dementia progresses. Lately, however, two of my sisters have banded together to remove me from my role and assume my position, and a part of me wants to let them do as they please. But I keep reminding myself that when my mother was fully mentally and physically functional, she legally gave me rights to make medical decisions for her should she become incapacitated. She trusted me in 2006 and 2017 to enforce her wishes. So, I’ve had to stop myself several times from running away from the rejection I’m feeling from my sisters and even my mother, and fight for her. If you don’t know me, let me tell you, I am not a fighter. I appease; I run; I quit, but I don’t usually fight...well, not for myself.

Dementia is incurable and progressive, and I’ve been up and down emotionally as I see its effects on my mother. And feeling like such an outcast has made the emotional rollercoaster ride feel even more precarious. Honestly, I feel that how I’m being treated is all very undeserved. Sometimes I’m hopeful that things will improve, but a lot of times, I’m not at all optimistic and get very weary. I’ve been the daughter that has taken care of my mother for most of my life. Now becoming almost her enemy, has made me want to get off the ride and to run far away.

So, this morning as I was vacuuming, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility to fix things and feeling weighed down because I can’t fix things (I can’t fix myself, and I definitely can’t fix others), a Bible verse came to mind. Although I was feeling very un-Christlike because the pit was looking more and more attractive, and running away felt more like running home, I heard, “Be holy because I am holy.” Be holy. I felt there was an emphasis on “be.”

I had always looked at holiness as a result of actions. I would be holy if I read my Bible a certain number of times, prayed a certain length of time or fasted regularly, or gave religiously to those in need. Being holy was always something I thought I’d achieve if I accomplished the “religious” acts, but this morning God seemed to emphasize “be.” Since He is, I am to just be.

Because the truth is, I am already holy, and so are you if you belong to Jesus.

Holy: sanctified, consecrated, and dedicated or to be separated from the world and worldliness.

This is one of the gifts or spiritual blessings we’ve recently learned about through Martha Wilson’s teaching. Holiness is God’s gift to everyone who belongs to Jesus. I no longer belong to the world order; I belong to Him. I’ve been consecrated, and set apart by Him, and for Him. I am His and that’s my true identity. It doesn’t diminish over time, over inaction, or over less-than-perfect reactions to circumstances. I am to be who I am. My actions and emotions will follow as I hang out with Him and focus on Him. That’s why Jesus instructs us to “abide” in Him (see John 15) because, without Him, we can do NOTHING (of value to His kingdom). As I abide and be, He’ll do His good work in me (see Philippians 1:6), making me more and more like Himself.

Don’t think that be-ing is passive. It isn’t. It’s actively releasing my hold on fixing circumstances and things and people, and it’s gazing at Jesus, acknowledging He will do it. He’ll produce the fruit, and He’ll work in the circumstances, all in His timing. Be-ing can be really hard work!

I will do all I can to help my mother, but I purpose not to strive, but just be. I bring my authentic self to Jesus, and I admit that I am unable but that He is more than able to accomplish what He has purposed. I bring the self that has holes in her soul, that has been a quitter, that considers crawling back into my familiar (but abandoned) pit, the self that longs to be loved and understood and held. God and I sit consecrated together, and I find that He doesn’t reject imperfect me, and I find rest in Him and in His timing as I just be.

O soul are you weary and troubled No light in the darkness you see There's light for a look at the Savior And life more abundant and free

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

(Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus by Helen H. Lemmel)

Priscilla Carr was born in NYC, but has lived in metro Atlanta since 1979. She is a Navy veteran trained in electronics which God used for a 30-year career at the FAA. She uses her training to provide audio support to Touching Hearts Ministries, and is the Editor and Producer of “A Burst of Hope” podcast. She began her adult new life in Jesus in 1990 right before leaving the Navy, and today she exudes her love for Jesus. She is the proud mama to two rambunctious fur kids, Gracie (Lab) and Faith (Pit-mix). Priscilla was encouraged by elementary teachers to write. She took creative writing courses in High School and college, but in the mid-eighties, she stopped writing. The desire to write has been recently reawakened, and she is thriving in her new writing adventure.