Sitting With Grace

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I heard her sniffles in front of me at the altar. When I finished praying with my husband, I felt nudged to embrace her from behind. “The Lord bless you, Dear one” were the words that came. Her body softened as she leaned back into the hug. I returned to my seat, but as the service concluded I saw her coming my way. Her eyes searched with desperation to get to me. Tears dripped from her cheeks as we held each other in a full lingering hug.

As we sat down she freely poured out the cry of her heart. With heads pressed together we cried out to the Lord. I simply followed the nudge and God let me be His arms to hold his daughter. She needed to know He saw her and He heard her. She kept thanking me for my obedience.

This experience was enough in itself, but there was more to come.

As we stood to leave church, I told her I would look for her next Sunday and asked where she sat. It was her answer that continues to ring in my ears. “I sit right down there. I sing in the choir and then I always sit with Grace. Do you know Grace?”

I always sit with Grace. Do you know Grace?

Oh, how my heart leapt. In recent days I have been reading and studying about this powerful little word. Grace. Just as Grace was her friend that she always sat with, I have come to understand that Grace is a Person, not a doctrine. His name is Jesus. He hung on the cross for me and Grace was poured out. I always have a seat with Grace reserved for all eternity.

Undeserved, Unmerited, Unworthy…but it’s mine. I did nothing to earn it and will never do anything to keep it. It covers me like a blanket dissolving all my guilt and shame.

I can choose to sit with Shame, Guilt, Condemnation and Performance or I can sit with Grace. I choose Grace because I am always accepted. I don’t have to measure up or dress it up. I come as I am and He rejoices in me.

Do you know Grace? He has a seat for you!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I Am Adequate

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"Not that we are adequate (sufficient and qualified)

in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves,

but our adequacy is from God."

2 Corinthians 3:5

Soon after we moved into my childhood home, my mom taped the measuring stick to the wall in the laundry room. I still remember the feeling of backing up to the “O. W. Jones Hardware” wooden yard stick. I was eager to see how much I had grown since the last measurement. Being the youngest of three always left me feeling an inch too short in many ways. As the marks on the wall inched higher and higher, it seemed to prove I wasn’t the baby anymore, and hopefully I was measuring up in my Daddy’s eyes. I learned that the way to his heart was to obey him and do everything as perfectly as possible. This wasn’t from lack of love and acceptance, but my inborn desire to perform, please and be adequate in every way.

You can imagine how this measuring up and striving to do everything perfectly spilled over into my spiritual life. I wanted to back up to God’s wall of rules and laws and check them off perfectly. I must be sufficient, qualified and adequate in every way by my performance. Standing on my spiritual tip toes straining to prove I was good, acceptable and adequate made for a tired woman. You may be asking, “How did that work for you?” Honestly, it didn’t work at all because I could never measure up.

I am so thankful that God revealed the truth that Jesus backed up to a wooden cross and measured up for me. His payment was more than sufficient and suitable to provide for my adequacy in Him. Many years later, I am still being overwhelmed by this amazing grace. I cannot earn it. I don’t have to perform for it. I don’t deserve it. This grace is who God is. I am acceptable because He laid Himself up against that cross and bled out for me.

It is so freeing to know that I can never measure up or make the mark, but Jesus already did it for me. I can live in my weakness with Him as my strength. I can be less than, because He is greater than. I can fail miserably, because He succeeded greatly. I can back myself up to all the law and rules every day, but on my own I will never measure up. I’m learning to look at His adequacy and find my marks checked off in Him.

Adequate...

Acceptable…​

​ Sufficient… ​

​Enough... ​

​Forgiven… ​

​Loved… ​

Go ahead and back up to the cross and smile….”I Am Adequate” because “He Is Adequate”.

“Lord, thank you for your amazing grace that paid for all my sins and makes me completely acceptable to God.”

Where Are You?

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But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Gen. 3:9

The look in her eyes told me something was seriously wrong. She passed us pushing her cart like it was a tank in the mud. Her face was filled with fear and despair. She called his name a little louder each time. “Levi, Levi…Levi, Levi, Levi” It quickly became obvious she was missing a child. I went one way as my sister Susan went the other, searching for her missing little boy. Row after row we searched. When I passed row five, I spotted, who obviously was Levi as his face too was etched with fear.

“Are you Levi? Come with me darling, your mom is right here.”

Timidly and cautiously, he turned my way, but when he heard mama’s voice drawing closer, he hurriedly made his way toward her voice. Clutching each other there were deep sighs, long hugs and grateful words. No scolding, only love and celebration.

Weak kneed, Susan and I watched through tears, as we too had tasted the dreaded fear of what could have been. Praise God, Levi had not been snatched, only momentarily separated from his mom that seemed like forever.

Just days after this experience, I was moved to tears when I read about another parent and child separation. A perfect relationship was broken by sin in the Garden of Eden. God went looking for His children. As God walked through the garden, row-by-row, He called out to them with an impassioned cry.

“Adam, where are you? Eve what have you done?”

We know that God being all-knowing was not calling them because He didn’t know where they were. Nor was He surprised that they had eaten of the forbidden tree. He called because He wanted His children. They must have been like little Levi turning the corner and walking toward their Father’s voice. This reunion was filled with love and grace, but there they stood, hideously trying to cover their nakedness with fig leaves. No amount of fig leaves could ever cover this shame.The broken relationship stood divided now by disobedience. It took the shedding of the blood of an animal from which God made garments to cover their sin.

God longed for His children. He stepped into the messy, now sin touched garden and everything changed forever. He knew that one day, Martha, Susan, Levi and all of His children, being separated from Him, would need a Savior. In the infinitude and eternalness of God, He came calling for me on that day.

He cried out, “Martha, Martha, where are you? What have you done? I want you. I love you. I have made provision for you.” The blood of Jesus calls me by name and restores me to right relationship with Him.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name;

you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

Oh, what gratitude fills my heart that He came seeking and searching and saving me. He didn’t walk out of the garden and forget about you or me. We are His beloved children. He sent His Son to cover us in all of our lostness.

Where are you today? He loves you. He doesn’t pursue you to punish you, but to forgive you. He calls you to Himself that the relationship may be restored. Like little Levi, hear His call through this blog today. Turn ever so quickly toward His voice and run to Him. Grace and mercy will embrace you. You haven’t gone too far. He sees you. He knows your desperate need. Forgiveness and love are waiting for you.